The Twelve Days of Christmas

by Corn Mo

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1.
I got you an Orange Julius at home.
2.
Some shells I saved from my seafood diet.
3.
Open it. A photo of someone i don’t know that i found at a friend’s house sometime at the end of my 8th grade year.
4.
It’s an empty tissue box. You can hide money in it and you know no one will know. Look at my handlebar of Kleenex. I made it from the box of Kleenex. It’s a good disguise to go. Happy Holidays.
5.
I got you the essence of Wilbur’s house. It smelled of him. His mom fed him Haribo. His basement glowed. The gift of smell is transferring my memory. Happy holidays. Advent five.
6.
I got you some razzamatazz. This Christmas, I got you some razzamatazz, but I left it at Buffalo Bill’s on Christmas Eve.
7.
Here's a blanket somebody left at my house. He didn’t want it back. The tag says Germany, he's from France. Buddy, cut me slack. It’s warm, it’s warm, it’s warm, it’s warm. It's made for snow-covered forest cabins and lean-to’s.
8.
I got you half of a coconut face it fits on a softball all over the place i call this the Andrew-Lloyd-Webber pitch baseball is fun with a lightsaber switch i like the fastball!
9.
These ZZ Top keys are fired-up bubble gum. Put it in your mouth, opposite of yum yum. Some things are just not fun.
10.
I cut up the all the stops of a Monopoly board to a house of cards where your old wallet is stored now. Your wallet is old you should get one that’s new. I guess I could have gotten you one, but I blew it on monopoly. Happy holidays!
11.
scratched off scratch offs booked with holes, yarning stitched reprogram methods whispered near “wish” and “lotto” have been switched there’s an mp3 that goes with this it’s wind going through a plastic sheet I put a lot of thought in your Christmas present this year.
12.
see that guy standing there giving two cents to the young guy's ear he’s being loud 'cause he’s been around but more so he wants everyone to hear he’s invested in a winter chair look underneath your current chair there’s a bag of brittle under there i saw it there the day before i left if no one claims it, I’d say it’s yours! happy holidays!

credits

released December 24, 2016

all music by Corn Mo
remixed and mastered by Pete Kohl at Beautyrock Records

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Corn Mo Brooklyn, New York

Corn Mo has toured America and Europe with the Bindlestiff Family Cirkus, The Pontani Sisters, Wheatus, Ben Folds, They Might Be Giants and the Polyphonic Spree. He has written 6 albums including 3 with his band .357 Lover. He is currently writing a musical based on the life of Grizzly Adams. ... more

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